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Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Just in case you thought things were going all "sparkly pony" and "pretty flowers" over here...

...I may have to remind everybody that you just never know what you're gonna get, both on this blog and in real life!  You gotta take it all.  The good and the bad.  Without one you cannot have the other.  How can y'have any pudding if y'don't eat'chyer meat????  (quick- name that epic album reference!!!)

FOR EXAMPLE:

Today I was on my way up to the mall in Sprawlville to pick up Tribble and her friend.  Yes, I am at that phase of my life where I drive teenagers places.  I keep bugging her to learn how to drive but she claims that being 15 she is not yet old enough to legally drive in this province, which makes me want to roll my eyes and mock her for being all law-abiding and stuff, but then I realize that it's actually good to be law-abiding and she really is one of the most level-headed teenagers I know.  And I'm damn lucky to have gotten this particular one.  So I agree to pick her up at the mall.  

I can be hip.  I can be with it.  (quick!!  Name that farcical movie reference!!!!!!)

All of that backstory there sets you, the reader, up for my example of taking the good and the bad.  The World's Longest Street got attacked by a paving crew today, squeezing two lanes of extremely busy car people into one lane.  At 1:30 pm.  On a hot, bright day.  With that sun just shining down like it's nobody's business.  Just drilling that heat and radioactive damage infliction onto every surface.  Sorry, not radioactive: ultraviolet.  I was parked there on the road, with the AC blowing hot air at me.  Screw air conditioning... I've got power windows in my truck!  Yeah, man!  I'll make the best of this traffic jam crap, while I know two teenagers are like, totally wondering why I'm late to get them at the food court.

I'll turn this craptastic traffic snarl into an opportunity to be thankful that it's summer not winter.  I'll stick one arm out the window of my bitchin scratched up gnarly 20 year old pickup truck.  Cuz it's summer, man!  

NOW I'VE GOT A TRUCKER TAN.  

Dangit!

Technically it's a trucker burn.

&%$* #$%  @$#*&$%!!!!!!!!

However.

The fact remains that I was hangin' my arm out the driver's side window today.  And I've got that good old fashioned 60-mile-an-hour air conditioning.  Also I like to steer with the other hand on the top edge of the steering wheel and sometimes I pretend my truck is all tricked out with cherry bomb mufflers and I'm seriously cool.  When I come down from that fantasy the truth remains that it's my truck and it's gnarly and it's paid for, busted AC and all.  

It's good, and it's bad.  

I guess if you want to live in the land of sparkly ponies you gotta deal with some sparkly $@#% every now and then.

12 comments:

Brit said...

Take the good with the bad . . . exactly.

This made me smile - this whole story. :D

Sorry about the burn though.

Heidi the Hick said...

It looks okay this morning, but I hate getting a sunburn!

Especially when it's uneven!

Courtney said...

Now you have to get someone to drive you around so you can ride passenger and burn up the other arm...

Heidi the Hick said...

Yeah, gotta even it up!

Heidi said...

I love your take on this! What a great post!

And yeah.. being warm enough to stick your arm out the window beats the snow any day.

And the truck is paid for. Major bonus!

Heidi the Hick said...

It's paid for... I keep telling myself that instead of bummin out about the left signal that doesn't cancel automatically, or the headliner flapping in the breeze, the broken pull strap on the driver's side door, the busted air vents and cubby hole door, and of course the AC that just quit working. And the rearview mirror in the back seat. Oh, and the tailgate that's about to fall off the hinges. Let's not forget those nifty Intermittent Door Locks. And while we're at it, the interior light that only comes on when the passenger door is open.

But.

it runs and stops when I want it to! It goes down the road straight! The windows roll down and back up again!

AND IT'S PAID FOR!

jules said...

1. Pink Floyd, The Wall.
2. I have NO idea! hahahaha

PAID FOR is GOOD! Very Very Good!

Heidi the Hick said...

ding ding ding! Jules guessed The Wall!

Sydney said...

I hear ya. Did you get the big storm yet at your place. Just passed here a few hours ago. Crazy booming going on.

Oh in case you are still giving your little spotty lady medicine here is a totally fool proof trick I use every time. Get some pieces of bread, spread molasses on a piece, fold it in half and cut it into two pieces, Feed it to said victim horse. At first they are like what the heck did you just feed me? Trust me the more molasses the better. Once horse has had a taste of the sandwich crush pills in a plastic bag with a hammer and put them on the bread and put molasses on it, fold, cut, feed to victim horse without he/she ever knowing it just happened.
My ol'mare Naigen knew when medicine was in apples. She wouldn't take them either but she would take a molasses sandwich any day.

Sydney said...

oh and way to go OEF bumber (er tailgate) sticker!

pseudosu said...

I kind of like stuff like that to measure future perils against. Like, "at least with this truck you don't have to have the heat blasting too to keep it from overheating." :)

Lavender said...

Aw man. Sunburns totally suck.

My brother drives a truck for a living (he's a delivery guy for a racking company), and he gets trucker tan ALL THE TIME.