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Friday, October 31, 2008

Does the fun stop when you get old? Not here!

When I was a kid, I wanted to be the Headless Horseman for Halloween. I wanted to pull my Dad's Sunday coat up over my head and ride my pony around the neighbourhood. In the dark. On my black pony. I finally get it now, why my mommy wouldn't let me.  

I was a gypsy for Halloween about 3 times.  Maybe more.  It was so easy!  I just piled on some extra clothes, borrowed ALL my mom's jewelry (that's such a weird word) and tied a big scarf around my head.  Mom let me put on her lipstick.  It was fun. Truthfully I had a phase in high school when I sort of looked like that all the time.  

I wanted to BE a gypsy.  Still do, kind of.  Hitch up my two speckled horses to a little yellow wooden caravan, full of crazy coloured blankets and pots swinging from hooks, and just wander around.  Fake a vaguely European accent and tell fake fortunes.  Every fortune would start with, "You arrrre in grrrave... dangeaarrrrrrr!"  I might even bust out a cackle.

Mom dressed me up like a witch in Kindergarten.  My mom was amazing (and still is, I add.)  She drew wrinkles on my little face with liquid eyeliner.  Now just hold on - my sweet little Mennonite mommy, who grew up without electricity or running water, had liquid eyeliner in 1974.  What a hip chick, seriously.  She made me a paper witch hat complete with strips of white paper for hair, which she curled with a scissor.  So awesome.  When she held me up to the mirror I cried.  She washed the wrinkles off and then I accidentally left the paper hat at school. 


One year I dressed up as Boy George.  I'm sorry.  It was the 80s, man.  

A few years ago, my daughter and I dressed up as red devils.  We had red plastic pitchforks and when we did the rounds of the neighbourhood I poked Jethro in the butt.  All the way around the block!  Halloween is fun.

I'm trying to decide what to do this year.  It's tonight and I still haven't decided.  I could easily do the gypsy thing.  Or I could slap on my suede outback hat and a plaid shirt (shouldn't be hard) and my chaps and call myself a cowboy. 

I could do my most popular costume, but I don't know... I don't know if I can handle all the leering adoration from the mothers of all the little ghosts and ghouls and princesses coming to my door...



MOTHER:  I like your costume...!

ME (IN RASPY PIRATEY VOICE) Thank you, dahhling.

MOTHER: No, I mean, I realllly like you costume.  (grinny grin, wiggle wiggle, flirty flirt)

ME (TOTTERING SLIGHTLY DRUNKENLY) (Leering right back)

Felt kinda sullied and unusual after that exchange, and others like it, but hey, I was in character people, I had to stay in character!!  Like the slightly drunken instability: ACTING!  Stay in Character!  


LITTLE VAMPIRE:  Are you Jack Sparrow?

ME (UPPER LIP TWITCHING WITH DISDAIN) That's CAPTAIN Jack Sparrahhhh...

Poor Jethro.  He just wasn't sure what to do.  It was very confusing for him.  



But I know I pale in comparison to the real thing.  Nobody does it better.



I'll be spending the evening handing out candy.  I gotta admit, living in town is awesome on Halloween.  It was fun, driving around the country block in the 70s and getting a homemade popcorn ball and an apple from my Grandma, but this is a different kind of fun. 

So help me out here, willya?

Pirate?

Gypsy?

Cowboy?


This is important, because it really affects how I'll answer the door!  I only get to do this once a year!

14 comments:

JKB said...

Cool! I would say...GUINEA PIRATE!

(Have you seen the latest Southpark? Hysterical!)

But seriously, why not a Pirate Cowboy?

If I really have to pick, I say CAPTAIN JACK. That is a mad accurate costume you've got on. You could even put some gel in your hair for dreadlocks!

Angel said...

I like all three! Just as long as you combine it with Vampire. Vampire Pirate, Vampire Gypsy or Vampire Cowboy.

Biddie said...

I think that you should be Boy George again. Maybe.
I tried on a wig last night (Shawns elvis hair, backwards,I might add) and I looked like Betty.
If I can find some sensible shoes and a scarf, all I need is a sign saying - I want my money.
Or, maybe I will be Old Spice and KC can be Baby Spice.
Not sure yet.

CindyDianne said...

I say the gypsy. I love having an excuse to wear all my jewelry at the same time!

hayseed said...

Yes, I'm thinking gypsy-I've done that one myself.

pseudosu said...

I hate to wreck anything for you fantasy-wise, but you really could be Johnny's sister... might want to check into that...
Seriously, that is one bad-a__ costume!

pseudosu said...

OH!-- having a costume party over on my blog. Photos will go up sun night. Email if you want to participate. I nominate any of the previously mentioned get-ups from your post. You've GOT to come!

Heidi the Hick said...

Yeah. Separated at birth, eight years apart, all that.

Cheekbones run in the family, somewhere.

Heidi the Hick said...

People, it's official:

I'm a cowgirl. Got my pink sparkly horse show shirt, my wranglers, my beat up old brown chaps, and Bucky's boots which are at least two sizes too big, but they're the big 'ol cockroach kickers!

We've had about four batches of kids come to our door. Lame! Are parents taking their kids trick or treating at the mall?????

Oh well, At least Jethro thinks I look hot this year. I did last year too but that was just confusing.

terry said...

you are a scarily good captain jack sparrow! no wonder the mommies were hitting on you.

Kerri said...

Cowgirl- great idea. Can you send that bottle you were holding on over to me?

Tod said...

That's a great costume! Lol at the confused mommies!

dilling said...

what were you?

i'd like to be a real gypsy...but have a shiny airstream...sweet.

we had two trickortreaters...two.
good thing i got candy i don't really like

Heidi said...

That Jack costume was scary good! I had to look twice to see who it was!

Cowgirl, though, that suits you too.

I love your descriptions of past Halloweens. A very entertaining blog post! Hope you had a good evening!