To my American friends who have taken time out from their big meal to come over and read today...Happy Thanksgiving!
Most ads for western wear drive me crazy in the most delightfully confusing way. Have you ever hated something so much you had to love it, even if just to indulge your mean streak and make fun of it? I don't go around making fun of people. I can't do it. But western wear ads? Bring it on.
I admit, there's a lot I like about this plaid shirt. I like plaid. It makes me think of comfort. But paired with these low waisted jeans it's just wrong. It's too mall. But my biggest problem is...
...the flippin wind machine blowing her hair around. Doesn't it remind you of that scene in Wayne's World? You know, the one with the Dream Weaver and Garth and all that? Right?
Oh, but some of these ads are just killer. So bad they're awesome.
I'd like to share with you some captions I've invented. I'm not a genius with captions so feel free to invent some better ones. This could be fun.
"You won't even notice how hideous this pastel plaid shirt is, because I am very alluring. No, I am, really."
"You just keep your eyes open, cowboy, cuz any second, I'm gonna...YANK THIS SHIRT OFF!!!!"
"Hi. This is an ad for MY BOOB."
"Ooooohmagawd! Check it out, I totally got a whole can of hairspray in my hair! And guess what? This shirt doesn't even fit, but I totally tied it at the bottom and like now, you can't even tell! Whoo hoo!"
And then there's this, which...you know what, I'm sorry, I kind of like this and can't think of anything mean to say. Sorry.
Here is the most Heinous example of bad western wear advertising.
"I think a trail ride is a great idea! I'll be out to ride in a jiffy, just as soon as I repaint my nails, match my dangly earrings to my shirt and tank top, fix my lipstick, match my eyeshadow to my earrings, and oh! readjust my towering beehive!"
Now don't think that guys are excempt! Hick Chic is for everybody...or not.
Now, proving that I myself belong in the Hall of Shame because I really like this guy's shirt. I'm not kidding, I like it. I don't think I could ever get my man to wear it though.
Having said that, this dude is totally model and I don't believe he's ever gotten dirty in his life. Not that that matters. I'm just saying.
However, he's not us unreal as this dude...
Is he made of wax? Is he aware of what he's wearing? "Good heavens, Muffy darling, I appear to be wearing some sort of cowboy shirt. Have the Bentley brought around, we'll need to remedy this situation immediately. What's that dear? Well I suppose I could keep it on just a little bit longer..."
And finally, the absolute, best, worst, most massive example of...Hick Chic Hall of Shame.
NO! That buckle is too big! It's too big! It's just too big!
This is coming from me, all 5' 1" of me, little wee massive-GMC-pickup-truck-driving me. Okay? I know a thing or to about SIZE ISSUES. And I have no problem with a big belt buckle. Seriously. My husband, who's never been on a Harley Davidson in his life, wears a leather Harley belt sporting a honking big buckle with the word LEGENDARY stamped on it.
But seriously buddy! How many socks you wearing right now? Snort! Pfffft! hahaha!
And geez, tuck in your shirt a little better, would ya? Holy crap.
This concludes our Hick Chic Hall of Shame.